Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Special News Report: Plies Suffering From Dissociative Identity Disorder?

North-Bay correspondent Wes "Wisin" Allen with a special report/guest-post on floridian rapper Plies!!  More guest-posts from this young hUsTlApReNeUr to be a regular feature on this website hopefully...:

   While driving around and listening to obnoxious mainstream rap music on the radio lately I've found myself having to pause every so often and think, "hey,  why aren't they playing any Plies?"  In 2008 Bust It Baby Part 2 was an anthem for me and my buddies and he had a few hits since then but seemed to fall off the map lately.  Recently I decided to use the internet to figure out what type of music he's been making.  What I found was a pleasant surprise.  The material I found on Youtube was much more ridiculous and ignorant than I ever could have expected-even after hearing Becky or Hypnotized.

   Two songs in particular stick out to me.  The first one I'd like to mention is called Chirpin (feat. Fella) 

There's really not much to say about this song.  I find it interesting that every effect of chirpin' mentioned in the song sounds completely negative and terrible except for at the end of Fella's verse when he says "...and I can't stop now cuz I love dis shit." He can't close his eyes,  his face is numb,  he can't have an orgasm,  he is paranoid about getting caught with all of his bricks and stacks while in his out of control state.  Mac Dre always made extacy sound like some miracle drug while this song makes it sound vile.  My favorite part of the video is all the shots zooming in on Plies sitting on the bar shaking his little legs.  He looks like a toddler who just got his first pair of big-boy boots. Cracks me up every time.  The main reason to bring up this song is because it makes me wonder if an excessive amount of chirpin' was partially responsible for Plies masterpiece,  "Rob Myself"

This song getting made is a milestone in ignorant rap music.  I have a feeling that other not-so-bright rap artists have had this idea in the past but they all came to their senses a bit before actually going through with making a song about FUCKING ROBBING YOURSELF.  I can imagine a young B Gizzle going to his mentor Birdman and telling him about a new idea that he had.  He may have rushed into the Cash Money offices exclaiming,  "Baby,  I have a great idea for a new song!  It's about  how I'm so overwhelmed with all the money that I have that in a fit of hysteria I decide to rob myself."
Baby may have chuckled a bit and rubbed his palms together before chiding him with his response.
  "Well BG the thing is...even if the song is about you robbing yourself then it's still a song about you getting robbed.  It's frowned upon in this industry to make music about being the victim of a robbery.  It just isn't done.  I have a few song ideas that involve killing people that I think would be more up your alley.  Perhaps we could discuss some of those instead?"

    I'm still astounded every time I watch the video.  From the opening scene with him poking at a pile of money with a fork pretending it's a salad to the shot of him making it rain directly into a fire pit in his backyard the video is a masterpiece.  The best line is delivered with a confused look on his face while giving the middle finger to the camera.  "Hey Plies it's a robbery,  ge'em up,  but I'm talkin' to myself doe,  what tha fuck!?"  Imagine him wondering around his mansion with 80 stacks in the pockets of his giant shorts all stressed out whenever he catches a glimpse of himself in a mirror. He's going back and fourth every few minutes about whether he's the scary Plies who's planning to rob Plies or the frightened Plies who should avoid Plies the threatening and notoriously violent goon.  What a dilemma! 
  I have a lot of stressors in my life,  many of them involving my financial situation.  I find it ironic that one way for me to have a laugh and de-stress is to drink a bottle of cheap wine and watch a video where some idiot is dropping (hopefully fake) $100 bills into fire.  

1 comment:

  1. That "Rob Myself" video is amazing. I cannot believe that I have never seen such a beautiful piece of art before and the concept of literally burning money is brilliant.

    I heard from someone that Plies used to be a nurse? Do you know about this? I hope that it is true.